Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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