don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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