I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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