The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
