he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
