I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize