So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
