so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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