google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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