question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
