You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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