you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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