piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
