Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
