I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize