Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
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did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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