You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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