Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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