i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
