carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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