people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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