Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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