Your mouth is God's brothel.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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