she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize