Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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