The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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