She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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