my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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