enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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