I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
