I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
