party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
