i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
