What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize