i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I need water and some morals
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize