Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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