everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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