You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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