Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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