Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
