I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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