you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
