Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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