do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
