It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
When are your genitals available?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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