is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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