I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
