Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
