rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
