I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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