he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
