so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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