My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
