Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
