3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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