can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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