so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
