I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
