remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
