I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize