i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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