you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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