I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Randomize
