I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
