So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
